It is such a simple word. Why are we afraid to use it? The word is no. It has always been challenging for some of us to use the word in certain situations. Sometimes we get overextended and wracked with guilt because we hate to turn down requests for help.

There are so many worthy organizations out there who need help. Just as it’s not possible to donate money to everyone, it is not possible to donate time to everyone.

Volunteering for worthy causes is a good thing, but how many worthy causes can you reasonably give time to without neglecting your family or yourself?

That’s when it’s time to sit down and give a long, hard look at time management and personal responsibility.

We all want to help where we can. But we know we can’t help everybody. So how do we decide?

Remember every time you take on one more responsibility, you are taking time away from something else in your life.

So saying yes to more and more requests for help means saying no to other things in your life, because the truth is, we can’t do it all.

I’m not superwoman. None of us are. But we’re taught to think we should be.

Are we doing something for an organization that is a feel-good project, or is it a do-good project? Are we agreeing to do something out of a sense of obligation or guilt? Are we taking on responsibility for a task someone else is supposed to be doing?

Each case is different, but I’ve decided it’s important to make my time count when I volunteer. How can I be most effective?

There are certain things to guard against. We can all be manipulated, flattered or guilted into taking on more responsibility.

It’s important to be aware. Here are some red flags:

“Oh, you always do such a wonderful job. We just can’t do it as well. Won’t you please do this one little thing? We’d appreciate it so much.”

This is the flattery card.

“I guess we’ll just have to discontinue the program if you can’t do this.”

“All the other mothers are doing it.”

Both of these are the guilt card.

“I agreed to do it, but something has come up and I just can’t. Would you be a sweetie and take over for me?”

This is the manipulation card.

All of these ring warning bells for me. The only legitimate reason for taking on volunteer duties is because you feel called to do it and are able to commit time to it.

The very word volunteer means that you are a person who is willing and able to take on responsibility and will honor that commitment.

If you feel guilted, flattered or manipulated into donning something, it has no meaning and just keeps you exhausted and unfulfilled.

So, the next time someone pressures you to do something you really don’t feel called to do, just say no. You don’t have to make excuses or explain your reasons. Just say no. Such a simple word that opens the door to freedom.