Who decides what commercials air on television? It’s a mystery to me how any person with a brain would think objectifying women and turning out soft porn would induce any busy mother with a carload of children to stop in at their restaurant to buy hamburgers.

Madison Avenue, I don’t get it. If a fast food restaurant wants my business, they’re going to have to do better.

There are a lot of women in the United States who work, chauffeur children after school, do laundry and a host of other chores. They are also the person in a household who shops. Women shop for clothes, food and necessities. They are the brand pickers and the food police.

So why offend this part of the purchasing public? Go figure.

What makes me buy something? If we need something major, like a stove, I read reports online comparing different brands. How frequently the appliance needs repair, the life expectancy, ease of maintenance, the cost and operating efficiency are major factors in any purchasing decision.

Anything that lessens the workload of operating a house has major appeal.

Some commercials can be entertaining and some can actually give you valuable information. For the most part, those are few and far between.

We’ve become fond of the man in the insurance ads who is called “Mayhem.” Those commercials are witty and usually generate a chuckle.

Will they make us buy insurance from that company? No. We go for the lowest price for the best coverage.

Commercials with good music always make an impression. I used to know all the words to the Winn-Dixie commercial for beef. Great tune and easy to remember. And their meat was good, but now they’re gone.

The Hallmark card commercials can sometimes move me to tears. Especially the Christmas ones. I also love the one with the Grandma and the little boy in the backseat of a car. Those spots wring tears from a heart of stone.

But, no, I don’t always buy Hallmark cards, even though they’re top quality. Often I’ll pick up something on the run from the grocery store. It’s a matter of convenience and cost.

Other than pornographic commercials, the next worst commercials, in my opinion, are the ones with bratty, disrespectful children. That isn’t cute. Nothing offends me more than a child displaying an attitude of entitlement and ingratitude to an adult who is providing food, shelter and love. It’s disturbing to see parents putting up with such unacceptable behavior.

And on principle, I won’t buy any product a commercial of this nature advertises, even if it’s a product I like.

Pet food commercials are usually OK and can be entertaining. It’s hard to get excited about laundry detergent, soap and air freshener. Do you believe the one where people are blindfolded and shut up with garbage sprayed with the air freshener who say everything smells great? I think it’s a lot of baloney.

Sometimes I’d gladly pay a flat monthly fee to keep all commercials off the air. It’d be worth it. But that’s just me.