According to my doctor, there’s a weird virus going around, and apparently I got it.

So I have been in bed just about all the time for the past three days, although I’m starting to feel a little better after I broke down and went to the doctor and got some medicine.

Meanwhile, however, I haven’t been completely idle. I’ve been doing genealogical research, and I have some big news for you.

If the calculations done by the minions on FamilySearch, the world’s largest genealogical database, are correct, I am the 12th great-grandson of King Henry VIII.

That explains my portly physique. And my gout. Thanks, Grampa!

I told my wife she could start addressing me as “Your Majesty.” She just rolled her eyes. But now she has a way to manipulate me. “Would your majesty please bring me a slice of watermelon?” What benevolent Royal Personage could deny such an humble request?

She, however, is the real genealogist of the family, and she has a pretty

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