Enough with the cold already

Ben Robinson

Ben Robinson

All About Ben

By Ben Robinson

Please let me know if you catch the first sign of spring. I am pretty sure it’s not these frigid temperatures we’ve had for the past few weeks.

I have gotten up and shivered as a good substitute for exercising these past few days. It’s been so cold I have not received any benefits from my advanced weight this winter. Usually people look at me, and say “He’s fat, but that weight probably keeps him warm on a cold day.” Now they just say, “Must be terrible to be cold and fat too.”

The weather has cut out one of my hobbies. Often I will drive through communities and look to see who is sunbathing. It’s generally an attractive female, because they are more likely to be concerned about getting a nice tan, and a fat girl generally does not “share her body’s view” with strangers. But with the temperatures we’ve been having the past two weeks, any girl who is laying out in the sun is probably crazier than a bed bug, and my family has enough trouble dealing with sanity without introducing yet another unstable soul to our gene pool.

Sunday the Super Bowl will be played in New York. I expect it may actually get too cold to watch TV. The Super Bowl is best played in a warm location. Right now, they are just hoping to get the game in with very little snowfall. The experts are wondering how the snow will affect the game. I am wondering how the snowfall will affect me. I have never seen a defensive lineman penalized for throwing a snowball.

We may see that this year.

We are ready for spring, that five minutes between winter and summer.

It does not last long, but it is the perfect time of the year. Warm enough for girls to be enjoying the weather, but not so hot that I’ll spend most of my time wiping sweat from my forehead. We hope that spring will last a little longer this year. It may take me more time to thaw out.