How important is appearance?

We were watching the news yesterday and saw a head shot of a well-groomed woman who is considered armed and dangerous and is wanted for attempted murder.

I was surprised because her mug shot was so flattering.

olivia6-25 Page 4A.inddApparently this lady was already facing attempted murder charges from a previous incident.

On the bright side, it isn’t believed that she has assault weapons with her; just regular hand guns and rifles. So if you do run into her there’s no need to worry, as eventually she’ll have to stop and reload, giving you a chance to escape.

In addition to attempted murder, she is also a person of interest in the possible kidnapping of a man she offered a ride to. He hasn’t been seen since.

First we wondered why she was wandering around loose to begin with. If a person is charged with attempted murder, it seems to me it shouldn’t be a big surprise if they try again.

After all, if at first you don’t succeed. She is now on the lam. Perhaps next time she will be able to actually murder someone. They say the third time’s the charm.

Sad to say the most surprising thing to me was how attractive she was in her mug shot. Her hair was nicely done, she had on makeup — but not too much — and was pretty. She apparently had all her teeth and didn’t look like a meth addict.

Grandmama taught us it’s important to never leave the house unless you look your best. Of course, she observed this maxim even if she wasn’t planning to leave the house.

Does this explain why this person was free as a bird after her first attempted murder charge? Because she looked very much like Alice in Wonderland. Did this influence the court?

This leads me to conclude that you should maintain your grooming at all times. Especially if you are going to be arrested.

It would be appalling to appear on the news or in the paper in an unflattering mug shot. You would be an embarrassment to your entire family. If you do plan a crime, please make a fashion statement.

Robbing the convenience store? Don’t go inside wearing a gray hoodie and dark glasses. Dress up. Look your best. You will avoid suspicion and lessen the chance of being shot yourself. And if you are arrested, chances are you will receive better treatment in jail and in court.

It’s important to put first things first. So, prior to undertaking a criminal act, I’d suggest a trip to the beauty salon followed by a makeover session at a cosmetic counter. Then get a manicure and pedicure before counting and loading your weapons.

Make sure your handbag is coordinated to your outfit and is large enough to hold a hand gun. This will take you far. And never forget to check your hair and makeup before holding up a place or taking a hostage.

We all want a mug shot that could also be used on our Christmas cards. There would be lots of time to address them and include a personal message to friends while waiting in jail for your trial to come up.