On hamburgers and helium

Now that I have finished downing a delicious Mexican Burger from Serendipity Cafe in downtown Easley — which, by the way, was recently voted the Best Lunch in Pickens County by the readers of the Courier — I will sit back and purport to write a column for you.

Speaking of burgers, here’s some more news from across the pond that you may not have heard about. McDonald’s UK has just introduced the South Carolina Stack: “Two 100 percent British and Irish beef burgers with bacon, smoky cheese, a Carolina Gold BBQ sauce, onions and lettuce in a cornbread-style bun.”

Now if that doesn’t start your lips to smacking, I don’t know what to do for you.

What I’m wondering, though, is why McDonald’s is selling the South Carolina Stack in the United Kingdom but not in the United States — not even in the sandwich’s namesake state.

And I’m wondering if we South Carolinians ought to be getting some royalties or something out of the use of our state’s name and sauce to sell hamburgers overseas. Perhaps this is something our burger-loving commander-in-chief ought to look into. Forget tariffs — give us royalties.

While we’re at it, I think the Brits still owe us a lot for the grief they gave us back in the Revolution and the War of 1812, not to mention how we saved their royal hind ends in World War I and World War II.

But, blimey, all they want to talk about is breaking away from the European Union. Meanwhile, they’re gobbling up a variety of wonderful burgers from McDonald’s “Great Tastes of America” specialty line.

We’ve already missed out on the New York Stack, which was available from May 1-14. It was two beef burgers, bacon and chunky coleslaw on a sesame seed bagel. The Mississippi Stack, which featured bacon, onion relish and a “rich and sticky BBQ sauce,” and

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