Special orders

Monday night, after covering a brief Easley City Council meeting, I jumped into my car and found that I was hungry. No problem, I thought. There’s a restaurant less than a stone’s throw from city hall with a drive-thru.

6-25 Page 4A.inddGet something to go, drive home, and eat.

So I get in line. I have to admit, I am a picky eater. Growing up, I never saw the need for such things as mustard, mayonnaise or ketchup on my hamburgers. So I make a special order.

“I would like a bacon cheeseburger, plain. That’s bread, meat and cheese,” I say, though a person who works at a restaurant not knowing what “plain” means would be like an NBA player not being familiar with what a foul shot is.

“Of course, bacon is a meat, so you can put that on there,” I say, trying to be more clear.

The boy whose voice is the drive-thru’s tells me what my order will cost, so I pull up to the window. I should have known that something was wrong because the order was ready so quickly. But I got my order and didn’t look at it until I was home in Dacusville — 13 miles later. When I got home, I found that my burger was not plain at all.

In fact it was “all the way.” Perhaps they had added something else that was in the kitchen. I had fries for supper, filling. My parents had brought some snacks from the Lions Club meeting, so I got by on that. Of course the Lions Club’s mission is to provide glasses for the needy, not to provide food for hungry fat guys. So I need to do something to help them sometime.

But the truth is that drive-thrus are seldom accurate. One chain used to include on its sign the phrase “millions served.” They could add the phrase, “We even got one guy’s order right!”

Let’s face it. They don’t care if they get your order right. You will either bring it back to get what you ordered or just learn to like what they give you.

It’s that simple.