Ben Robinson

All About Ben

By Ben Robinson

April is finally here, and as usual it took its time getting here.

I always feel a little relieved when we are past the first three months of the year. One reason is because of family history. A few years ago I started visiting local cemeteries to put together my family history. I found many interesting things, but most interesting was that the date of death on each gravesite was pretty much in January, February or March of the year.

I have developed several theories for this. One is that since the Christmas season is complete, and the winter months are so dreary, members of my family have — subconsciously at least — figured that was as good a time of the year as any to die. That way folks wouldn’t get so hot wearing dress clothes to the funerals. If somebody died in July, they would risk folks coming to the funeral in swimming trunks.

Another theory I came up with was that we Robinsons are very vulnerable the first three months of the year. Sure, we have colds and various illnesses, but after April 1, we are pretty much bulletproof for nine months. I haven’t tried to promote this theory very much because the people who do not like me (and believe it or not, they do exist) would start thinking they need to get rid of me by the end of March or just put up with me another nine months.

Whatever the reason, members of my family usually die in the first three months of the year. If I’m smart, I will take my suit to the dry cleaners in December to get ready for “funeral season” beginning in February.

This year was not so bad. I had a few close friends die, perhaps agreeing that the winter was as good as any time of the year to die, but for the most part the Robinson family was safe. I had one young lady say she would go out on a date with me only if we had a really bad cold spell, but from what I understand, although it was cold, the area never actually “froze over,” to use her words.

Hopefully this year will have plenty of happiness for all of my friends and family. Let’s celebrate together!

But just in case, I will go back into hiding around January 1.