We have laying hens. They lay eggs. But when we refer to the act of actually laying the egg, we say the hen laid the egg. It’s confusing, but this is just the beginning.

We all hear people talking about laying out in the sun, but actually this can’t be done unless they are laying something out in the sun, such as their sun-damaged bodies. The person can correctly say they lay their body out in the sun or that they plan to lie out in the sun.

And to split hairs even further, it would be more accurate to say they plan to lie out in the sunshine or sunlight rather than sun. If you think about it, it would be rather difficult to literally lie in the sun.

When children pray, “Now I lay me down to sleep,” this is perfectly correct because they are laying themselves down. They can say “Now I lie down to sleep” if they like, but this doesn’t have the same rhythm or musicality.

When you lay you have to do it to something else. You can lay the fork on the table. Or, to be more precise, lay the fork onto the table or on top of the table. Or you can set the fork onto the table, place it onto the table or put it onto the table.

And even though we all hear people use the phrase, you cannot put, lay or place your shoes “in the floor.” This would mean you have actually put your shoes into the floor, a nearly impossible task unless they have very pointed toes and are made of metal, and a hard metal at that.

You can lie down on the floor or lay a child on the floor, or a pillow or book. If you do the last three things you’re just making work for yourself, as you’re going to have to pick all those things up and put them away.

Was the hen lying down when she began laying eggs? No. She was sitting in her nest. But after she lay the egg she began setting. She was a setting hen sitting in her nest on the egg she lay. Or is it on the egg she layed? Or should it be laid?

I believe she produced the egg, more than likely while in the nest.

Although, we have found eggs in places other than the nests themselves.

And this has a lot to do with where and how the hen was raised. Yes, it is correct to say the hen was raised. Chickens are raised. Children are reared.

If a chicken has grown up in an environment where there are no nests, then she will lay eggs anywhere that strikes her fancy. That’s why it’s a good idea to have a chicken pen with nests inside shallow boxes all in a row. It makes it much easier to gather the eggs.

Eventually the English language will grow simpler and smaller. The various verb tenses will disappear. Texting will take care of that. In 50 years it probably won’t be necessary to even know more than a couple hundred words to function in the world. Instead of growing, our brains will begin to shrink, and we’ll be reduced to using just a few primitive phrases. Me eat. Me sleep. Where keys?

Tarzan’s vocabulary will be sufficient for all our needs, and it won’t make any difference whether or not we ever knew how the hen made the egg appear in the nest. By then, her vocabulary will probably be more extensive than ours. Me go now.