There are some things I don’t need to see when we go shopping. I know my weaknesses, so I need to stay away from shoes, lamps, chairs and handcrafted objects.

Ever since I was a tiny girl, I’ve been fascinated by elephants, and if I see a hand-carved elephant or a nice elephant sculpture I’m drawn to it like a moth to a flame. It can’t be just any elephant. The elephant has to look happy, with trunk and head raised.

As a 5-year-old girl, I asked Santa Claus for a baby elephant and hoped I’d get one for Christmas. But alas, it never happened. Mama explained that elephants had to live in certain places, and you couldn’t keep them in your bedroom. I still hoped.

I couldn’t read “Dumbo” and never saw the movie, because I can’t handle stories about animals that are hurt, lost or separated from their mothers.

Grandmama had to set “Black Beauty” aside and read something else to us, as I’d cry when Black Beauty was thin and hitched to a wagon. Even though I accepted that I’d probably never get an elephant for Christmas, I enjoyed reading about them.

My favorite elephant story was the Dr. Seuss book about Horton the elephant, who hatched an egg for a negligent mother bird who abandoned her nest.

He promised he’d do it, and he did.

I love this quote from Horton.

“I meant what I said and I said what I meant. An elephant’s faithful 100 percent.”

Even though I have nowhere else to put an elephant in my house, it doesn’t prevent me from wanting another one. So I have to be very careful when I go shopping and try to protect myself from temptation.

There are several stores that often have very nice elephant sculptures, and I’d avoid them if I could. But on occasion when there is a necessity I must have, like a new frying pan or set of glasses, I am forced to go inside.

I suppose it’s like any addiction. Even though I try to stay focused on the frying pan, I can feel the shelves of home décor calling to me across the store.

I tell myself, “Don’t go over there. Buy the frying pan and get out.”

And sometimes I’m able to do it. But there are other times when the little devil that sits on my shoulder whispers into my ear, saying, “There’s nothing wrong with looking. Just because you go over there to look doesn’t mean you’re going to buy anything.”

I know that’s true, but I also know that if I see something really beautiful it’s very hard to walk away. What an inner struggle is created just by walking by a shelf of inanimate objects.

It’s like an alcoholic walking into the liquor store and walking back out empty-handed. But it can be done. If I don’t listen to the shopping devil and walk straight out of the store after buying the frying pan, I’m much better off.

I’m working toward achieving a state of being where I don’t want elephants in my life. Progress has been made, as it’s been at least two years since I fell off the wagon and bought one. Christmas is approaching, and shopping will happen, giving me an opportunity to test my ability to resist the call of the wild. My struggle to avoid elephants will be ongoing.